Mar 22 AT 3:04 PM Dustin Earley 19 Comments

Beat up Joseph Kony in the Android CrApp of the week

kony 2012

It’s not everyday you get awesome press emails detailing apps like Kick Kony’s Ass, there must be something special in the air this afternoon.

Advertised as, “an attempt to provide some relief for those distraught and frustrated from seeing and hearing about the crimes against humanity as shown in the KONY 2012 video,” Kick Kony’s Ass is exactly what one might think. The app provides you with a virtual Kony of your own, created purely for your beating pleasure.

Hyper-realistic sound effects and an immersive African inspired soundtrack will whisk you away from your boring life, and suit you up as the sole defender of all that is good in the world. Knock off Kony’s hat, break out his teeth, blast him ’till his eyes are swollen shut (“essentially giving him a taste of his own medicine”), and you make the front page of the New York Times with the headline, “KONY CAPTURED.” Sounds pretty sweet, right? Trust me, playing it is even better than it sounds.

Despite what the press release for Kick Kony’s Ass says, I can’t find the app in any reputable app stores. It’s supposed to be in the App Hysteria store, GetJar, Handango and the Google Play Store, but I could only get the app by installing a mystery .apk file found in the YouTube description of a demo video for the app. Until it actually shows up somewhere safe, install at your own risk.

If you don’t feel like installing Kick Kony’s Ass, hopefully the video below will sate your bloodlust.

Have a fantastically terrible Android CrApp you’d like to see covered? Let us know in the comments below.

Dustin Earley: Tech enthusiast; avid gamer; all around jolly guy.

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