Mar 22 AT 3:04 PM Dustin Earley 19 Comments

Beat up Joseph Kony in the Android CrApp of the week

kony 2012

It’s not everyday you get awesome press emails detailing apps like Kick Kony’s Ass, there must be something special in the air this afternoon.

Advertised as, “an attempt to provide some relief for those distraught and frustrated from seeing and hearing about the crimes against humanity as shown in the KONY 2012 video,” Kick Kony’s Ass is exactly what one might think. The app provides you with a virtual Kony of your own, created purely for your beating pleasure.

Hyper-realistic sound effects and an immersive African inspired soundtrack will whisk you away from your boring life, and suit you up as the sole defender of all that is good in the world. Knock off Kony’s hat, break out his teeth, blast him ’till his eyes are swollen shut (“essentially giving him a taste of his own medicine”), and you make the front page of the New York Times with the headline, “KONY CAPTURED.” Sounds pretty sweet, right? Trust me, playing it is even better than it sounds.

Despite what the press release for Kick Kony’s Ass says, I can’t find the app in any reputable app stores. It’s supposed to be in the App Hysteria store, GetJar, Handango and the Google Play Store, but I could only get the app by installing a mystery .apk file found in the YouTube description of a demo video for the app. Until it actually shows up somewhere safe, install at your own risk.

If you don’t feel like installing Kick Kony’s Ass, hopefully the video below will sate your bloodlust.

Have a fantastically terrible Android CrApp you’d like to see covered? Let us know in the comments below.

Dustin Earley: Tech enthusiast; avid gamer; all around jolly guy.

    Most Tweeted This Week

  • Vieper07

    most political app ever! haha

  • Vieper07

    give him what he deserves

  • Doomsayer general

    Now all we need is a Kick Jason Russell’s Ass app, and all will be right with the world.

    http://www.smilingdoom.com

  • http://ArtisticAbode.com BetterWithRoot

    I have no idea what this Kony 2012 is all about. I seen it blowing up all over the place and opted to stay away from it. It’s a game I like to play; I call it “figure out what the hype is about without searching”. So far, I have come up with it’s some sort of human rights violation (maybe against children) perpetrated by that Kony guy. The guy who made the film went nekkid crazy. And it’s somewhere in Africa. That’s all I got.

    Back on topic.

    I like seeing CrAPP of the Week. Keep it up it’s a good addition.

    • http://www.focuszonedevelopment.com Homncruse

      I’ve gone the same route. Despite it showing up all over various social streams, I’ve managed to not click a single one of them. My understanding of the situation matches yours.

      I also managed to go until some time last month without seeing Rebecca Black’s “Friday”. My willful ignorance is strong.

      • http://ArtisticAbode.com BetterWithRoot

        LOL! Willful ignorance. I like the term. That may explain why I’m so blissful.

    • Jeffro

      Well, I suppose they say ignorance is bliss, but I tend to disagree. I don’t think you should be proud of your stupidity.

  • this guy

    who the fuck is this guy i seriously have no idea
    some one tell me

  • kwills88

    Kony kidnaps kids and use them for his army in Uganda, he also use young girls as sex slave, he’s even made the kids kill their own parents and murder other kids.. but reports say he hasn’t been there since 2006 which is now causing national outrage over the Kony 2012 videos.

    -With that said Lmfao.

  • spazby

    this is too good

  • Tipika

    I’ve made a free CrApp to learn Japanese https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=it.dandandin.colors
    (it’s CrApp because it’s very simple ;-) )

  • ihatefanboys

    people in the US need to get over this BS. IF we would just mind our own business we would be better off. Clooney should be slapped also, who cares about SUDAN ?

    • Dr.Carpy

      The world should care, cause we’re all on this rock together. Nice to see that someone cares, and that the milk of human kindness isn’t spoiled. I guess people should only care with an agenda, like controlling poppy fields in Afghanistan or oil fields in Iraq? Ignorance isn’t always bliss, if you don’t believe me ask a child prostitute in India, Thailand, or Sudan.

  • respect

    why bother when he died 5 years ago.

    • Tipika
      • Aerohix

        I love americans! They make me LMAO!

        When the guy said “he died” it means that he is not active anymore. Kony is nobody nowadays…

        ALSO, PLEASE, stop being americans and go after more info when someone tries to make you believe in something…

        I don

      • Aerohix

        I love americans! They make me LMAO!

        When the guy said “he died” it means that he is not active anymore. Kony is nobody nowadays…

        ALSO, PLEASE, stop being americans and go after more info when someone tries to make you believe in something…

        I don’t doubt that if Fox News someday says they saw Santa on the sky, 50% of the USA would believe…

  • Zero Line Media

    Aww, I was going to make a game like that! LOL.. funny.

  1. most political app ever! haha

  2. give him what he deserves

  3. Doomsayer generalGuest 3 years ago

    Now all we need is a Kick Jason Russell’s Ass app, and all will be right with the world.

    http://www.smilingdoom.com

  4. I have no idea what this Kony 2012 is all about. I seen it blowing up all over the place and opted to stay away from it. It’s a game I like to play; I call it “figure out what the hype is about without searching”. So far, I have come up with it’s some sort of human rights violation (maybe against children) perpetrated by that Kony guy. The guy who made the film went nekkid crazy. And it’s somewhere in Africa. That’s all I got.

    Back on topic.

    I like seeing CrAPP of the Week. Keep it up it’s a good addition.

    • I’ve gone the same route. Despite it showing up all over various social streams, I’ve managed to not click a single one of them. My understanding of the situation matches yours.

      I also managed to go until some time last month without seeing Rebecca Black’s “Friday”. My willful ignorance is strong.

    • JeffroGuest 3 years ago

      Well, I suppose they say ignorance is bliss, but I tend to disagree. I don’t think you should be proud of your stupidity.

  5. this guyGuest 3 years ago

    who the fuck is this guy i seriously have no idea
    some one tell me

  6. Kony kidnaps kids and use them for his army in Uganda, he also use young girls as sex slave, he’s even made the kids kill their own parents and murder other kids.. but reports say he hasn’t been there since 2006 which is now causing national outrage over the Kony 2012 videos.

    -With that said Lmfao.

  7. I’ve made a free CrApp to learn Japanese https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=it.dandandin.colors
    (it’s CrApp because it’s very simple ;-) )

  8. people in the US need to get over this BS. IF we would just mind our own business we would be better off. Clooney should be slapped also, who cares about SUDAN ?

    • The world should care, cause we’re all on this rock together. Nice to see that someone cares, and that the milk of human kindness isn’t spoiled. I guess people should only care with an agenda, like controlling poppy fields in Afghanistan or oil fields in Iraq? Ignorance isn’t always bliss, if you don’t believe me ask a child prostitute in India, Thailand, or Sudan.

  9. respectGuest 3 years ago

    why bother when he died 5 years ago.

      • AerohixGuest 3 years ago

        I love americans! They make me LMAO!

        When the guy said “he died” it means that he is not active anymore. Kony is nobody nowadays…

        ALSO, PLEASE, stop being americans and go after more info when someone tries to make you believe in something…

        I don

      • AerohixGuest 3 years ago

        I love americans! They make me LMAO!

        When the guy said “he died” it means that he is not active anymore. Kony is nobody nowadays…

        ALSO, PLEASE, stop being americans and go after more info when someone tries to make you believe in something…

        I don’t doubt that if Fox News someday says they saw Santa on the sky, 50% of the USA would believe…

  10. Zero Line MediaGuest 3 years ago

    Aww, I was going to make a game like that! LOL.. funny.