Jul 25 AT 2:23 PM Jess Blanchard 26 Comments

Meet Android And Me: Jess Blanchard


Hi. I’m Jess, the den mother here at Android And Me. I’m 27. I live in Louisville, KY, now apparently hailed as the “New Portland.” I have a degree in English from the University of Louisville, and surprisingly enough, actually get paid to write things. And I’ve never even worked at a coffee house. I am truly blessed.

In my day-to-day, I work as a full-time copywriter for a company in Louisville that specializes in content marketing and SEO for smaller colleges and universities who want to open up online learning opportunities. I also freelance for a variety of clients in regional, national and international markets. Words are hard. I word good. For money.

When I’m not writing things, I’m either in front of a screen or behind the plate. I love softball. I play first and second base (not at the same time), and I’m not afraid to stop the ball with whatever part of my body is most convenient. (Last season I got hit in the back and you could see the laces for about a week and it was awesome).

Costume contacts are painful.

Seras Victoria.

My screen time usually consists of shows about space (Doctor Who, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, et al.), fantasy (Game of Thrones, True Blood) or, as Netflix aptly titled it, “Quirky TV Shows Featuring a Strong Female Lead” (30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Weeds). I also enjoy cartoons for kids and adults. My favorite movie of all time is The Lion King. No joke. It’s Hamlet with a happy ending. What’s not to love? Then you’ve got shows like Bob’s Burgers, Adventure Time, Archer, Regular Show, Super Jail. We’re really in the golden age of television.

I use my Xbox 360 as more than just a Netflix machine. I’m playing through FarCry 3 now, and I’ve logged over 200 hours in Skyrim. I used to love Assassin’s Creed, but 3 sucked so bad that I spurned it like a Shakespearean lover. I suck at Halo, but that doesn’t stop me from playing. I’ll be purchasing the PS4 when it comes out. The Xbox One can eat it.

I read books sometimes, too. I read all the classics and canonized literature while pursuing my degree.  Now I mostly read for fun. I’ve read all current installments of A Song of Ice and Fire. (One time I commented on George R.R. Martin’s livejournal and he commented back, and I almost died of excitement). I’m starting on Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series now. I like Cormac McCarthy, too.

I love the hell out of Halloween. Last year I was Seras Victoria from Hellsing, and the year before that I was Major Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell. This year my boyfriend and I want to be Guy Sensei and Rock Lee from Naruto Spin-off: Rock Lee and his Ninja Pals.

Mmmmm... cream puffs.

Zincinnati Oktoberfest!

What I’m most excited about

Usually, food. I’m very food motivated. About 50 percent of my income goes to eating out or groceries. I like cooking as well as eating. And I make some southern biscuits from scratch that would make your granny ashamed of herself.

But, in regards to this site, I’m most excited about being part of a knowledgeable and awesome team. It’s really a great feeling to be able to do what you love (in my case, words), with people who are intelligent and passionate about what they’re doing.

I’m also still excited about sneaking puns, silly references and inside jokes into articles.

What I’m going to be doing at Android And Me

Clark brought me on over two years ago to help goodify the words before articles get internet’d. Since then, I’ve learned a lot about the merits of Android. A love of the OS fits seamless into my already dorktacular value system.

I’m just gonna keep doing what I’ve been doing, for the most part. Jazzing up headlines, monitoring voice and tone and keeping the comments section relatively free from a slew of “an asteroid, Mr. President” sentiments.

I handle most of our social media postings, too. And we’re playing around with the idea of a weekend weekly article to which I might be contributing.

What devices have I owned?

My first smartphone was the LG Optimus T. It was a good entry phone for me, but it wasn’t long until I wanted more. I upgraded to the Samsung Galaxy Exhibit 4G; it wasn’t phone enough for me, either. I’ve had the Samsung Galaxy S 4 for about a month now, and I’m very happy with it. I also own a Nexus 7.

What phone do I daily drive?

The Samsung Galaxy S 4. I think it drives me, tho. Also, if anyone has had any success getting the eye scroll functionality to work, teach me your secrets. I’ve been twisting and contorting my head and eyes at that screen like a drunken bimbo looking for a ride home at last call. Still nothing. It resists my charms.

McGee is a dingus.

Orange kitties are the best.

Facts about me:

  • I have a black belt in karaoke.
  • I am mildly lactose intolerant and have IBS. But, I think poops and farts are funny, so it’s okay.
  • I have a cat. He is not a smart animal.
  • I earned departmental scholarships in both Physics and Creative Writing at UofL.
  • I kissed the Blarney Stone.
  • I’m a girl! On the internet! Talking about technology!

How to get a hold of me:
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @technicquill
Google+: Jessica Blanchard

Words are hard. I word good.

    Most Tweeted This Week

  • heldros

    Welcome madame

  • w9jds

    Hello Jess!

    • w9jds

      Woah! I already had you in a Circle on Google Plus. Weird.

      • http://technicquill.com Jess Blanchard

        Well, I have been here for two years. But, everyone gets a bio, new and old alike. We’ve got a few more for the coming weeks. You’ll get a little more info on all of us. :D

  • bobquest

    Liked the way you presented your bio wish I can do the same.

  • TAN5150

    Hi Jess,

    Love the bio… NO FEAR!!

  • Nate B.


  • nivekkev

    Welcome, and can’t wait to read your article about the TARDIS Phone, should have plenty of storage space in that one…

    • http://technicquill.com Jess Blanchard


      • w9jds

        And it rebuilds itself every once and a while to the new top of the line specs that are out.

      • nivekkev

        no no, it is smaller on the outside…

        • jerrbomb

          *Facepalms* You guys are SO not Doctor Who fans at all. *sarcastically said of course*

  • jerrbomb

    I’ve been quiet around here for a few days… But the very fact that your an English major like I am.. You love Game of Thrones, you use the word dorktacular (like a pro), and have a GS4 was worthy of me posting a comment… Good introduction…. Very good..

    • http://technicquill.com Jess Blanchard

      you’re* an English major. ;)

      I thought I saw you posting in the Nexus 7 contest that demonstrated the selfishness of humanity.

      • jerrbomb


        Thanks for the correction. And I guess I was a little out there during the contest wasn’t I?

  • MC_Android

    In the last section, “Facts About Me”, I misread the last two bullets and thought you said “I kissed a girl”…
    Anddd now I’m going to cleanse my mind :)

    • jerrbomb

      Lol.. We will pretend you never thought that.. Lol

    • http://technicquill.com Jess Blanchard


    • jerrbomb

      MC_Android.. There is no cleansing your mind after what she JUST said.. Lol..

  • Dr.Carpy

    Jess you’ve got an excellent sense of humour! I always enjoy reading your zany comments! Glad you’re still on the team, and look forward to your insights!

  • Nathan D.

    Hi, nice cat!

  • stenzor

    It’s like I know you from somewhere or something

    • http://technicquill.com Jess Blanchard

      OMG you have so many points!

      • stenzor


  • http://www.jaxidian.org/update/ jaxidian

    Hi, Jess! Welcome!

  • jamal adam

    Welcome, mother of dragons.