Mar 29 AT 2:33 PM Dustin Earley 28 Comments

CrApp of the Week: The World’s Hardest Game sucks. Period. So shut up.

World's Hardest Game

So here I sit. Absolutely fuming mad. Because of one stupid game that looks and sounds like garbage. Really? The World’s Hardest Game? It’s not even hard in a fun way. It’s hard because it’s impossible to play on a small touchscreen. It makes me want to punch Joustin’ Beaver in the face (I suppose I want to do that anyway). I hate it.

The game sounds simple enough (“You are RED square, avoid the BLUE circles and collect Yellow circles. Once you have collected all the yellow circles move to GREEN beacon to complete the level.”), but it’s meant to be challenging. I get that, I really do, but this game was not meant to be played on a touchscreen. I don’t exactly have pencil thin digits, but it’s not like I have Shaq hands. I can’t even see what I’m supposed to be doing once I put my finger on it. And the graphics suck so bad, and there’s such a small area to move around in, and you can’t zoom in, and annoying techno is assaulting my eardrums, and my dog has to go outside, and my text message noise won’t quit going off, and my girlfriend wants to know what I want for dinner, and I have no freaking idea, and next thing you know, my phone is on the other side of the room. Because I threw it against the wall. And showed it who’s boss.

I hated this game when it was in the Flash portal on Newgrounds, and I hate it even more now. You might think at this point that the game isn’t actually all that bad, and I just have a personal vendetta against it. Just play it for yourself.

 

Have a fantastically terrible Android CrApp you’d like to see covered? Let us know in the comments below.

Dustin Earley: Tech enthusiast; avid gamer; all around jolly guy.

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  • Panatella

    I get the frustration here, but this article is way to negative. Flaming on a good site doesnt mean you’re flaming like a sir. You sound like a brat.

    [/counterflame]

    • Panatella

      Ps. Punching scriptkiddies and starting developers in the face wont do your beloved ecosystem any good.

      There are a lot of crap games outthere. Thus guy probably wanted to make a cool maze game but couldnt get the controls right, so he thought “it isnt a bug, its a feature!” And went on to call it an “impossible game”

      So instead of flaming,
      Make a better game yourself.

      • woo woo woo woo

        OK, The anger police have check in. Why can’t people be frustrated and vent these day with out aviator boy (or some one like him) sounding off.

      • Bruno R

        “Make a better game yourself”? Really?

        So if I’m on a restaurant and they serve me some crap food I can’t complain because “hey, I can’t cook thus I’ll just shut up and eat it”?

        Sorry, but a game this bad being promoted as “world’s hardest game” because the developer is just lazy to make it even playable needs to be treated like this.

    • mike

      Did you have to google the term script kiddies? I bet you did since you don’t even use it in proper context. Fact is, you’re just a poser that illustrates everything that is wrong with our overly sensitive society. Go back to watching Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and stay out of adult conversations. STFU!

  • -Dante-

    Wanna play a really good and difficult puzzle? Try Cogs.

    • Angie Wimberly

      That game is really awesome.

  • Bas

    Sorry but maybe this dev is new, or still needs practising. I don’t think this flaming was necessary.

  • Phoenix

    I thought the post was funny! Lighten up folks!

  • Anselm Friedrich

    Phoenix is right. I think you dont get the real message at all.

  • http://alxrock.deviantart.com alxrock

    lol, we need more rage reviews.

  • Jimmy Johansen

    This review was awesome. That’s what happens sometimes. Sometimes games suck. Who cares if it’s the developer’s first game or not. Make a better one. No, not Dustin Earley. The developer. Society has become so overly sensitive it’s sad. This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day and you want to take that away. (Here’s looking at you Panatella)

    If anyone read the title of the post they already knew what was up. So listen to the topic.

  • smeghead68

    Temper, Temper!!! LOL that was one of the funniest articles i have read in a while. I feel your pain Dustin! I tried this game and hated it!!!!… but I can’t stop playing it.

    Hate it!

    • Joel

      Funniest artilce ive read in awhile too

      “…and annoying techno is assaulting my eardrums, and my dog has to go outside…..
      my phone is on the other side of the room. Because I threw it against the wall. And showed it who’s boss.”

      Dustin at first I thought you meant the music was so bad that your dog was trying to get out of the house lol.

  • Alan Reboli

    RAGEpost

  • http://whysoangrybirds.com mikeyDroid

    You have a girlfriend? :D

  • Mike

    Hahahaha love it! This reminds me of a game called ‘The Impossible Game.’ It’s freakin’ hard but you can at least get the hang of it and do something.

    • johnnycsx

      Frustrating though.

  • YMS123

    The only thing missing is the words /end rant

  • spazby

    ouch

  • eric

    I have this game on my 10.1 in tablet and the graphics are fine. Also the controls work fine, touch and the box follows, pretty simple, and you can also “offset” the red box from your finger if you cant see. This was more of a rant than a review.

  • Chris

    You should check out Dantes Inferno (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tbsgames.adfree.danteinferno). It’s based on The World’s Hardest Game, except with better graphics and a storyline. If you don’t like the controls, there are options in the settings to change them.

  • WlfHart

    Hahaha, I can only imagine playing this touch screen. Maybe try that stylus with a plastic disk at the tip so you can see where you’re at and play it on a tablet? I remember playing this on PC for hours, entertainingly frustrating. ultimately I enjoy N+ custom maps a bit better for near impossible entertaining frustration though.

  • j

    haha. i like this article. and i agree, that game is just stupid.

  • joe

    I keep dropping games browsing phone status

  • Alex Belko

    Soo what about a WHG Android and me challenge?) one not to go insane gets a tablet)

  • johnnycsx

    Your girlfriend asks what you want for dinner? Your phone already knows who’s boss!